Sometimes I feel like my husband is the real life Charlie Brown. He's a good man, and he just can't catch a break. He's just much taller and has a way better head of hair. He has lost his mom, two babies, and now his dad in the span of just a year and a half. And he really never had it easy. To say he had a rough childhood is a gross understatement, but he became the textbook definition of a "resilient child." Part of this is due to his own strength of character, but a large part of it was due to his father. His dad took good care of his "little boy," and did everything he could to protect him and teach him how to become a good man. He did an excellent job, because my husband is the perfect son and perfect husband. Almost a clone of his dad, I loved watching the two of them interact. They had a similar sense of humor and loved to tease me together. I'd look back and forth between their smiling faces and notice the only real difference was that one's hair & beard was grey and the other's was still brown. I will be eternally grateful to my father-in-law for raising the man I fell in love with. Even though we have had this black cloud over us for the last year and a half, I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else. I feel guilty, sometimes, because I have done nothing but cause him more pain with the loss of our babies. He is the last person in the world who deserves more pain. I would probably have been reduced to a puddle on the floor without all of the love and support he's given me. I hope I can return the support and love to him, now. And as far as this black cloud over our life together, there's got to be a break in the storm, soon. Right?
And so the black cloud over my husband & I continues to follow us. My father-in-law passed away last night after a 29 year long battle with Multiple Sclerosis. I have had this post in mind for awhile and was planning on using it for an anniversary or something, to honor my husband and acknowledge how amazing he is. But today feels more appropriate.
Sometimes I feel like my husband is the real life Charlie Brown. He's a good man, and he just can't catch a break. He's just much taller and has a way better head of hair. He has lost his mom, two babies, and now his dad in the span of just a year and a half. And he really never had it easy. To say he had a rough childhood is a gross understatement, but he became the textbook definition of a "resilient child." Part of this is due to his own strength of character, but a large part of it was due to his father. His dad took good care of his "little boy," and did everything he could to protect him and teach him how to become a good man. He did an excellent job, because my husband is the perfect son and perfect husband. Almost a clone of his dad, I loved watching the two of them interact. They had a similar sense of humor and loved to tease me together. I'd look back and forth between their smiling faces and notice the only real difference was that one's hair & beard was grey and the other's was still brown. I will be eternally grateful to my father-in-law for raising the man I fell in love with. Even though we have had this black cloud over us for the last year and a half, I wouldn't want to spend my life with anyone else. I feel guilty, sometimes, because I have done nothing but cause him more pain with the loss of our babies. He is the last person in the world who deserves more pain. I would probably have been reduced to a puddle on the floor without all of the love and support he's given me. I hope I can return the support and love to him, now. And as far as this black cloud over our life together, there's got to be a break in the storm, soon. Right?
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AuthorI am a 28-year-old who has survived 2 pregnancy losses in less than 6 months. The point of this blog is to document how I am feeling, in the hopes that one day I will be able to look back on all of this and be grateful for my struggle. And in the meantime, maybe it will help some people understand what I'm going through, or help someone who's currently going through a similar situation feel less alone. Archives
November 2015
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