After losing a baby, you become a completely different person, and it is difficult to come to terms with that. You miss the person you once were and adjusting to life as this new jaded person is difficult. Optimists may turn into pessimists. Pessimists (like me) can become even more pessimistic. I have always been a pessimist. My husband has even given me the nickname, "Worst-Case Scenario," and this was even before losing Dominic. Since then, it has admittedly gotten much worse. I worry constantly. I worry that something bad will happen to my husband or my dogs. I worry that I will never get pregnant again, and if I do, that I will lose another baby. I have sometimes felt so defeated that I think there is no hope for a future that involves true happiness for me. What is important to remember though, is that I have the power to choose optimism over pessimism. And in coping with grief of this kind, choosing optimism is essential.
I am going to try very hard to take this woman's advice on choosing an optimistic view of the future rather than a pessimistic one. Some tools that she listed for attempting to do this are asking yourself "what rational reason do I have to worry" and "what rational reason do I have to hope?" Rationally, I know that I can get pregnant, because it has happened before. Rationally, the odds are in my favor that I will one day have a rainbow baby. If I can learn to remind myself of these things, even when I don't feel optimistic, I can try to choose hope instead of pessimism.