"A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep.
In dreams you will lose your heartache
Whatever you wish for you keep.
Have faith in your dreams and someday,
Your rainbow will come smiling through.
No matter how your heart is grieving,
If you keep on believing, the dream that you wish will come true..."
Now I realize that the purpose of this song was not to speak to women who are trying to conceive a rainbow baby. But it sure does have an eerily applicable message for someone like me. In my dreams, I get to keep Dominic and I lose my heartache. But then I wake up, and yes, Cinderella, my heart is grieving. Preach girl, preach. Do you promise if I have faith my rainbow will come smiling through? Ha, that actually gives me a pretty funny image of a baby coming smiling through the "birth canal." All covered in gook, just like "Oh hey, Mom, here I am! Your rainbow coming smiling through!"
I admittedly go back and forth between being pretty optimistic that my chances of becoming a mother are still relatively good, and extremely pessimistic that I am just doomed to struggle with this for a really long time. I can get really down on myself and despondent that I will never be a mother. So some days I like to put this song on in the hopes of lifting my spirits. All I have to do is just keep on believing, right? Although I'm not always so sure, and I end up just feeling like this: